damn didnt realise I had been away so long……so whats been happening?
dazed and confused, frustrated, agitated, absent minded of self, disappointed, trapped, happy
these are all places I have been for one reason or another…s’pose it’s what you could call a level of ‘normality’ even though the inner workings are a little less subtle……the events of the past few months have had a massive negative effect on our relationship….her knew addiction is smoking (a habit which we have no funds for and one I have no wish to live so closely to), she has bouts where she constantly barrages me with talk of a new baby which has swayed me away from any physical contact…..I have given up trying to hold conversation with her as she really responds and when she does it is indicative that she does not want to talk……..bankruptcy has graced us with its presence elevating some financial pressures but raising new ones
the plan …..find the strength to wade on through and hope that when the fog of war lifts there is something recognisable left
my only saving graces at this time are my kids and my voice of reason Clive